Succumbing to super hip new blogging site. Ah... I hate change.

I made a tumblr. http://peaceout-turnabout.tumblr.com/

Tumblr is better than blogspot cos for one, its quicker.

you work with a smile then you go for a ride

Its December! My favourite month of the year.
I was working on a pathetic attempt at architectural drawing, my lastest "freak", inspired by Tom oh-so-hot Hansen from 500 Days of Summer, when I hear a "RAAARRR" from somewhere behind... Its Shirleen! My mop-headed, foul-mouthed kid cousin. She's here to stay again, and so far we've painted, listened to my ancient Hilary Duff CD, and made supper. I enjoyed painting and making supper. Anyway, I re-watched 500 Days of Summer... Tom:"I know...Pancakes!"...Aaaahs so hot. :) And Summer sucks.

*Wheeze*. Been very sick. The kind of sick that gets you waking up at three in the morning, thrashing about in bed with your face streaming and moaning. I think its called agony. So I went running. Up the rows of houses, down the rows of houses, around the rows of houses. And later at 5am-ish we're gonna take a bus to the beach.

I'm hungry! D:

I am a vampire I am a vampire I am vampire VAMPIRE

going postal. diggers. a hat full of sky. the wee free men. <3

hi good sirs and ladies. rejoice if yest was your last day of school. Bras basah is having book sales.

And i've just been to lasalle for the first time after the students moved into their new campus. Its beautiful.

I wanna get of the country. like on a road trip. or to the Bay of Fire.

Hmm. I think he's like, this really phony asshole or something. Its so weird cos if he is then he sure did a reeeaaaally good job of hiding it. Whatever it is, this lack of communication is just really disturbing. Wtf is wrong with people?? Sigh. Sorry, I'm having a fit of idealism.

How did we end up this way, watching our mouths for the words that we say?

I seem to be experiencing a very strange bout of squeamish-less narcissicm.

Absalong's in Phuket. which means we have nothing to drink.

Oh and people are going off to the army. :( Been drawing a-freakish-lot. Scan 'em in soon...

Gonna crash art tomorrow!

How many days in a year she woke up with hope but she only found tears. I can be so insincere, making her promises, never for real...

h

Dance like no one can see you, Sing as though nobody can hear you, And Love as if you've never been hurt before.

Today I woke up really early when the house was all quiet. Gel, Mel and Don were still in bed. Today is Monday... AND THERE IS NO SCHOOL. MUAHAHAAHA. Plus this morning was nice. And cold. And drafty. Just the way thou likes it. I came up with that gay quote up there in italics. Though I'm unsure about its orginality. And I myself can't do the last one about Love. Cos I don't even know how to love for starters. With or without the hurt. But whatever... it sounded nice. Woke up crying, but there were some amazing things in the fridge(and the aforementioned awesome weather). Made breakfast; chee cheong fan with light soy sauce and fried shallots, and minute donuts. Conclusion? Today was more or less fufilled before 9am. Oh but I have been wheezing.

Staying at home is suiting me happily. Except for when Gel first wakes up. The complaining, the extra long sentences, punctuated with expletives and euphemisms...they make me feel like screaming. And so usually I do. Such verbal abuse... >:( Lately it has become quite obvious to me, how often I feel ostracized, given my place in the family. And how much I get yelled at. I never like yelling, though I've gotten into the habit of it(I am so awesome at "adaptation for survival"), so its really annoying. Oh and half my dresses have received the verdict of being "too short". Damn. I KNEW I should've been born a guy. ARGH! There is nothing worth left being female, I want to dieeeee dieee diee. Haha okay kidding... I just kinda miss living with Dad.

I am.. Like... This... Really selfish, unfilial, temperamental, personality-splitting, exhibitionist, lousy person.. Lacking in, like... a lot. Gee. :( Ah seriously...

I had to remove all that religious psychobable cos it offended mum.

Mood: Pleasant, gay-ish, destructive. :))

Home

I'm not having any luck painting fucking Sharbat Gula.

I was going to give it to mum but she saw it in progress, and said it was ugly.

And it is. Wa-th-fak.
Watched Juno and 500 Days of Summer.

The latter is so funny, loved it. And I hate cards, so way to go depressed Tom!

Anyway I forgot how much I like my room, and being at home.

Though the meals part is so not cool. I really need to learn how to bloody cook properly.

So things to do: 1) Learn to cook 2) Strangle Gel for being so smirkily triggerhappy..

She wrote my name on the red telephone box, but when I got there she'd already rubbed it off.

I don't want the world to end in 2012. I know, Parousia and all that. But I guess I'm one of the people who chose to believe the coming of Christ as an ongoing process. As in, the world is pretty fucked, but then again, in so many ways it ISN'T, no?

That and I'm selfish. If everything goes smoothly 2012 will be the year that I will be only one year shy of getting my degree. Yeah, mummy is so awesome. She's packing her fail kid off to Lasalle! Woots. I feel very grateful.:') So if I grow up already, and work VERY hard, and stop being a disappointment, then four years from now I will have my beautiful Ba(Hons). (Thats the artsy futsy name for "degree"). Kind of kills the oh-so honourable journalist/teacher/writer/reporter plan, but whatever. Mummy's word is law. Yesss. I hope she doesn't change her mind. And I hope I get in. Fingers crossed, wish me luck!:D

Seriously. If you told me like twelve years ago, when I was six and totally obssessed with the idea of art school, if you told me that I would actually be able to go? That girl would start screaming and hug you. And not that much has changed now.

Everyone is too sweet. Today's friday and you guys are still asking if I'm okay. So sweet.:) Well yea I assure you! Hang out soon yea, I'll tour you guys around Lasalle if I get in.:)

Okay so I feel a little mad at mum. She was being all suspicious and scary. So we did the secondary school-ish thing of staking out his house. Except that normally this kind of thing would be kind of fun, but it was cold and dark and scary AND we didn't know if we even got his address right. But we did! Ha I am so proud of myself and my photographic memory. And what did that moron say when he saw me? Something like this is the worst day of his life. Oh thanks luh. He probably has no idea how scary his street is at 4am in the morning. And then he said he appreciated it, but he still hasn't called. Sheeshkebab. *rolls eyes vigorously* But seriously, I wish he would call.

Oh well what can I do. K moving on, life is such bliss without school. Kinda boring but oh-so free! See, even my retarded blog posts are so much longer now.-.- So much bloody time. So yesterday, was job hunting day. Probably gonna work at Build-a-bear again. Please come visit me!

Today, I dug out all the art work I ever did. Oh the memories. Except that the further back they date, the more airy-fairy and retarded they were. Ahh... And now I'm trying to paint Sharbat Gula, super fail.

Okay Gel is bugging me, she's being TOO anal lately. Bye for now!

Please don't end, world.

Lucky to have been where I have been, Lucky to be coming home again.

I'm supposed to be updating this thing often, some people think I'm suicidal. Sheesh haha.

So I woke early up today and the weather was awesome, and everything was calm and clear and smelt nice. Very serene like. Well of course it did, I'm not in Yishun today. Washed my hair, which reeked of smoke. Cleared the room, cleaned Coco's mess(accidentally locked her into the room so she peed like an ocean). Slept terribly last night, but today I feel better, almost purposeful. Got some messages super early in the morning, everyone's been very very nice. <3>

First thing I did when I came online was to check my email, but no reply from him. Shit I feel really bad about that. We didn't have a plan for this. Hmm okay maybe he'll read this...HEY YOU I'M SORRY! I don't know why you were so nice to me in the first place, but now I kinda wish you didn't cos I miss you so much! And ignoring me wasn't part of the plan you jerk! Okay forget it I feel like I'm talking to myself.- It all makes me very sad and guilty. Forget that. No calls, nothing. It really shows. What a stupid way to break the self-peservation rule. And all the time wasted crying and being retarded.

I think the principal is weird. I know this is going to sound melodramatic but I shall never forget yesterday. Sitting there with Gel and Matthew(who were both in their usual happy-go-lucky moods), freezing to death, waiting her to spit it out, when she obviously didn't have anything to say to us.

"You suck too bad, school doesn't want you anymore. I can see you're really cold, you may go now" would have been nice. And she's weird cos all she kept saying was "Mmm...", and doing the slow blinking thing, that really annoys me. Obviously the whole point of that meeting was to make sure we didn't kill ourselves or that our parents wouldn't kill us, but I don't think she achieved that(the longer I sat there the more I felt like flinging myself off Republic Plaza).

Anyway for those who are curious but don't dare/can't be bothered to ask(reader statistics suggest quite a number of people interested in my retarded life), next step is... Lasalle or Mass comm! Mass comm will make me feel better, because I'll be spending less of mummy's money. Its also harder, less enjoyable work(think heaps of pw), and in a retarded way unenjoyable work always feels like its more likely to get you places. But then Lasalle is so much nearer to travel to, and I've wanted to go there all my fricking life. I will be so bloody happy in Lasalle. And then there's A's. I don't know how that works, the whole private candidate thing, kinda scary. But whatever I'll try and do it if they want.

Okay now the immediate plan of action is to work and do dance and art(fix my crummy portfolio). Really need to start moving and keep moving!

See guys I'm fine.:) *blows kisses*

Oh look what you've done

Well done Joelle. I deserve to die a horrible death, shit, I hope I get run over by a car at last. But mum won't like that.

Mum. Doesn't seem too upset. Suspect its a little of the I-told-you-so syndrome. Anyway no punishment so far, as expected. K fine, I'm going to install my own set of punishments and make Gel do it too. Starting with no more vile weekends...This is going to be fun.

Sigh. Very depressed.

I know who I want to take me home, take me home.

Kierra Knightley(center) is so pretty I would turn gay for Kierra Knightleyyyyy.

ITS OVER! No more staying back late until school closes. Oh bliss.^_^

Anyway, just got back from Supperclub. Nice place, love its spacey look, but its way too loud. Made new friends. Hehehe. Nostalgically SR-esque kinda people... Verry fun. Good conversation, my brain seems to be working better after today. (Shall do a long, ranty post!)

So I got a new coin today. I used to be a such a sucker for these old school things, and cheesy one-liners and everything. Usually. Now I feel weird just sitting alone and talking with dudes, not to mention going out. I imagine him finding out, and getting pissed. Or worst, NOT getting pissed. Ironic but yeah if you think about it it makes sense. Next, I start mentally picking apart the poor dude, sometimes totally riduculously. Too short, too tall(retardedly based on HIS bloody height). Looks too shallow. Sounds too mod. HE would say he was gay. Too effeminate, too macho-nacho. Can't dress. Talks too fast. Too impatient. Lousy ettiquete(this is especially harsh because his is near flawless). And then, (and this feels horrible) I stop picking. I naturally start allowing myself to admit how cool, or attractive or whatever these people are, because one of The Rules is to not judge meanly. So I appreciate. BUT. Only to realise that I don't care. And I wouldn't care even if Mr Oh-so-perfect, or even Miss Oh-so-perfect(if I was feeling butchy), came and asked me out. Which I think...together with everything else, is very bloody unhealthy! Sheesh what is thisss.

Now me body ache's like crazy, in terrrrrible shape. Lost too much weight and I'm in desperate need of some proper excercise. Look like shiteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. We were having dinner at 1am(thanks to Jerome French Boy's excellent punctuality), at Sommerset Botak Jones and watching some, I don't know, I think they were hip hoppers or new wavers. Anyhow, watching them made me really miss that! Daaang. Okay I've made up my mind to do that this december, provided detention(yuck) isn't too heavy. AND must must must do some art. My art is too lousy already.

Mum's getting to me. I'm worried. And really pissed off. Really REALLY pissed off. Sigh.

-.-

Alot of things are annoying me lately. Which is bad. Like pleather(faux leather) jackets? Shudder. I love leather, but fake leather jackets just really irritate me I don't know why. Sigh.

Wow its 6am. I haven't enjoyed a morning at home in ages. Home's been kind of irritating too lately though. Like there aren't any groceries, for one.

AND NOW I FEEL LIKE HAVING YOGURT! Baaaah. Shall wake and drag Poop to Serangoon Gardens or something.

I just imagine that I'm you and there's nothing nothing nothing I can do

Boomz! These are from the day we went to RJC.

http://www.thefarmhaus.blogspot.com/ Oh and can't remember whose friend this is(Ida's?), but check it out. Gotta love her handmade vintage pumps, which cost less than some of those nasty rubi thingies that are becoming too popular. Support!

The. Killers. Are. COMING. THE KILLERS ARE COMING? :0 Oh my shit. Won't be able to get tix if they really are. OH MY SHIT.

Reading texts, emails, poems and whatnot over and over and over and over. Must have read them a thousand fucking times. I am moping normally again. Don't know if thats a good thing. I don't like moping, but I don't like the thought of being less human either. I. don't. like. Okay tireddd k bye.

PHOTOS!

Our combined doodles: Gel, Tiky, Diva, Peggy, Moi!

Peggy! <3

Diva reminds me of tht elephant in Putt Putt who got scared of that fricking mouse.

Twitty Kai ling! :)

8)

Tiky's classic face haha.

KL's so much thinner than thee! :(

Never loved a soldier until there was a war

Good news! We don't have to move afterall. Yaaaay. There are so many things that I would miss about this place and the places nearby if we did. This is the first time we've had to move, then didn't. Make sense? Ah whatever this is GOOD. *Kisses bedroom wall*

Today I am happily lying fetal in bed, reading Time Traveller's Wife, when some &*^! throws a bottle at me that hits me on the spine. Crazed bitch. What fuckedupness. Yes, I am fricking angry.>:( Anyhow, its a very sad book, I manage to cry a little.

Better by far that you forget and smile, than to remember and be sad

I don't agree with Christina Rosetti.

The following is nothing more than a mere recording of my mundane life events.

Today I am wonderfully, ungloriously, embaressingly, loudly smashed. No wonder, spend the whole friday night being vile with the French Boy, the Maldives Girl and the Nepal Man.

I feel extremely melancholic. Tiky says I can't tear anymore cos I'm that much less human. Or something, its hard to remember what any of the A-holes say. But that is so scary. That is so scary... :( Meow. I hate not knowing. I abhor waiting. I sound oh-so melodramatic. And I probably am anyway. Add that to "insecure bimbotic, something...". Screw labels!!!>:( Wonder what he's been up to, wonder if he's pissed. Yes, he is probably so super pissed. But then again he's kinda forgiving. And unexpected. Sigh. :(

Hmm...:( Offnote, I wish I was a vampire!:D

Did you ever try so hard, that your world just fell apart?

My head hurts. Muse is gonna be the headwhatsit act for Big Night Out 2010. Awesome shizzles.

knowing you'd be better off if only you could say what you need to say

I am in such a good mood today I wanna cry. And I don't even know why. Today was ordinary. Went and had lunch with Dad at Killiney, went to SPOTLIGHT to check out their opening sale(which sucked by the way)... Did lone shopping. Ah yes, that must be it. The liberation thing. Not having to rush around, taking in people and places, slowly, leisurely. Being alone, reading on the train. Bought a pink top, two hairbands and had Yami Yogurt. Yay for the yogurt!^^

And I'm home now, getting all emotional over John Mayer and MJ's songs. Work isn't done, yet I don't feel thing. MUAHAHAHAHA. Shit now Jonas Brothers are playing and I'm even freaking singing along. This is weird. Okay I've wasted this year, from today I stop being miserable. For the sole reason that life is short and all that. Yeah. Lets see how long this lasts.;)

Found out today that CG is called JC North Nomads?? Nomads?? D: Bloody mocking me...-.-